Hi, y’all.
Since I announced my first novel BLOOD DEBT last year, its publication seemed just around the corner the entire time. I guarantee you, it was that way for me as much as it was for you. I had written several drafts and I honestly thought I was on the home stretch to having the darn thing finished.
What I didn’t count on was fear.
I disguised my fear as “perfectionism.” Have you ever had that? Where the last ten percent of a project was like a tractor pull compared to the rest? Well, that was me. I don’t want to put too much of a “suffering artist” spin on it, but the closer I got to the end of the book, the harder it was to finish. I piddled, fiddle-farted around, tinkered, procrastinated, and generally found reasons to keep from ending the story and publishing the novel.
Y’see, books hold a very special place in my life. I’ve been reading and writing since I was five years old, and the people who write books – “authors” – seemed like wizards to me. In the lifetime since I began, I’ve written a couple million words in various ways. Newsletters, articles, and writing for others. Since 2008 I’ve ghostwritten seventeen books for other people. I’ve coached and helped other writers. What I never had was a book with my name in big letters on the cover.
As I tried to finish BLOOD DEBT I made the mistake of making too big a goal out of it. The very thing I wanted most in the world – to be the author of my own book – scared me more than it being the lifelong dream it should have been.
Understand, the book is not The Great American Novel. It’s a nice little genre book, designed to hopefully entertain readers for a few hours while they’re on a trip, or waiting in the doctor’s office, or when the television’s broken and there’s no internet and they’re forced to resort to reading something. In other words, it’s a burger and fries, not filet mignon. It may not be a great work of art, but it’s the best I can do right here, right now.
Even that, though, can be intimidating when it’s your name on the thing.
A while back I finally broke through all of that and started making real progress on the book, and you can expect it to be available in the very near future.
What’s the lesson to be learned? Maybe this: Don’t freak yourself out just because you’re about to get something you want. Plan your work, work your plan, and finish. Let the result handle itself.
I want to extend my most sincere thanks to all of you who have been patient with me. I sincerely appreciate all the support that you guys have given me.
My plan is for this book to be the first of many stories in the Llano Estacado Crime collection. Look for BLOOD DEBT on Amazon very, very soon.
Word out.
Kyle,I know your fear with that first book in your name. I am looking forward to reading your book being one block from you it seems there is more than one writer in our town. You lean to non-fiction while I’m all about fiction. Good luck.
Thanks for your comments. It was definitely a tough transition going from nonfiction to fiction, but even harder to change from staying in the background with the ghostwriting — staying “ghostly” — to putting myself front and center.